(3/15/26) John 20:19-31
I love the apostles. Twelve humans - well, thirteen - with all their perfect humanity on display for two millennia of people to pick apart. I've heard about "Doubting Thomas" my whole life, and I've only heard one sermon preached about his faith. And yet...
I think Thomas is probably my favorite apostle, at least in this story. I love him so much, and I completely see myself in his mirror. Let me set the stage. Ten guys, probably some random hangers-on, almost certainly some women who were just completely ignored here but who were really important just a few verses ago, all locked up in this house. To be frank, still a little frightened - none of this Acts 2 stuff going on yet, they had the doors bolted and were huddled "for fear of the Jews" - well, the Romans, anyway, who no doubt wanted a word because this Jesus guy was finally gone and it was time to scatter the footmen, lest insurrection grow. No one was coming in or going out. John was there, and Peter, and the rest of the gang, but poor Thomas was busy.
Anyway the disciples are all locked up, and Jesus comes in and gives them a little sermon. He shows off his wounds ('zounds!) and they see that it wasn't a trick, he really was the same Jesus who was on the cross, was brought down and entombed, and then rose just like the women had told them a few short verses ago. He gives the apostles the power to forgive sins, or not, peace, and the Spirit. Yay! Great rejoicing.
Some time later Thomas shows up. We don't have any particular information, let's imagine it was later that day. Knock knock knock, behold I stand at the door and knock. If someone could open the door then Thomas can come in - thanks Mary. Everyone is so excited! Jesus, he came in here! He stood right there! He was real, he showed us the wounds, he was the real thing! We're back in business baby, time to save the world!
And now we come to my second-favorite part of this passage. Thomas is a realist. Show me, he says. I think you were all just having one of those mass hysterias, or someone is trying to do a prank on us. I won't believe it until I touch him, touch those wounds, stick my hand through the holes to make sure it's not makeup. It's only been a few days, they can't be healed - there is no way somebody came back from the dead. Only Jesus could raise people, and he's the dead one! Seriously, look, you guys need to calm down, chill out, stick to the plan.
And then - it's a week! A whole week! No matter how you slice it, ten of these guys have literally seen Jesus back from the dead, and you know what they do? They hang around in a locked room for a week! Man was in a tomb for three days, they spend more than twice that standing in a room -after he returns-. I mean, okay, Peter was married, presumably they were doing things, but like - ultimately, they are all gathered in this room on the following Sunday, not a work holiday at the time I remind you, with the doors all locked and everybody standing around. I can't say what they were doing, but it's not like it's part of the story either - John's not like 'and so the apostle whom Jesus loved and Phillip, started planning a mission to Africa, and James started fundraising for a building in Jerusalem, and Peter was doing Peter things.' No, it's like this big thing happened, Thomas came along, and suddenly it is a week later. A week! So poor Thomas has been wondering, watching, waiting; the disciples are all telling him it's real, but maybe they're starting to wonder too. Or maybe Thomas is starting to believe, but then he looks around and everything is still the same. If Jesus was back, surely things would be different? Surely the world would be changed? Surely my friends would be a little more excited?
Anyway, Jesus shows up, as he does. He so clearly loves Thomas in this moment - go ahead, touch them. Ten days of healing my man, still pretty raw, try not to poke, but do what you need to be confident. And Thomas - seeing, my Lord and my God! The Trinity, for the first time, realized in this one moment of Jesus' love and compassion to return for this one confused sheep.
And, finally, what is perhaps in my favorite lines of all the scriptures. “Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to believe.” (NRSVue) I have trouble believing without sight, I really do. I thank God for his willingness to come and show me, to drag me through logic and the scriptures into belief. I don't think I can learn another way, and what a blessing that the path of sight is available to me. But you know what? Lots of people - probably the vast majority of believers, even - do not have to see to believe, and the kingdom is better for it. They hear the gospel, the Spirit tugs them, and they respond immediately. Knowledge, philosophy, wisdom - these folks don't need these things at all. I am tempted to call these beliefs simple, but the sensitivity to the spirit is never simple - it is the truest reaction to the work of God. Blessed are they; blessed are their fruits, which feed the hungry while I am sitting in class. Blessed is their love, which houses the refugee and enriches the impoverished while I am studying clever reason. Blessed is the work of their hands, that clothe the naked and cradle the orphan, while I am writing a dissertation. Blessed are they. God, I love my sight, but let me also have the simple faith of Christ and him crucified.
PS - I stayed up late to write this on Tuesday night, because I was super-excited to get to write about this particular passage. The next day I was talking to my therapist about Thomas because naturally our conversation ended up being related, and that he's gotten this bad rap for so long but what else was he supposed to think under the circumstances, and when I slow down she says, "You're talking about 'Doubting Thomas'?" What could I say but "Two thousand years..." Poor kid, one moment of weakness and he still can't shake it. Fox's says he was killed by a spear after teaching in Iran and India.
PPS - I am shamefully convicted to admit that, despite working alongside many Jewish and Israeli colleagues, I did not pick up on the racism in this passage (c.f. https://www.christiancentury.org/lectionary/april-12-easter-2a-acts-2-14a-22-32-psalm-16-john-20-19-31). It is "obvious" to me that Jesus was Jewish, and that the apostles were, and with very few exceptions almost everyone that shows up in the Bible. And yet I cannot deny that some of the early church and especially the middle church went very far in the terrible direction of vile racism against those very people whom Jesus and Paul so honored! Even Caiaphas spoke prophetically on his worst day, per this same author. And so in my familiarity I instinctively read "fear of the Jews" as fear of the ruling elite - ultimately only the Romans had the power of life and death - in the same way that my random acquaintance of No Kings rightly condemned "white Christian men" in her discussion of our current times. And yet - I recognize that this particular phrase has been used for the most villainous evil, whether that was the intent of the author or not, and I am sorry to have not called it out originally. Now I do call it out: if you are inclined against any of God's dear creations, against anyone who is created most fully in God's precious image, then you need to repent of your hatred of Christ. God alone can judge the quality of any human; we are instructed to love and to participate in the ministry of reconciliation. If you are lacking in love for any, pray to our Lord that he might bring you to perfection.
I believe I have been open that I am not clear of this - to my own dishonor I was against homosexuals as a younger man, and if you've read elsewhere you know I still have a tendency toward classism that I am learning to despise. I am sure there are many other errors and prejudices that I will learn in due course. But I am trying, and I pray the Lord will continue to reveal the inherent value of his creations as I go on; please, for the love of God - please join me in seeking your own perfection in love for all humans, as Jesus has loved so singularly.